My therapist assigned me a “Gratitude List” during our last session and keeps pestering me to post it on my blog because I’ve been unable to write due to a prolonged depressive episode. I don’t want to do this, but I will anyway:
1) Elaine (my wife)
2) Sienna (my daughter)
3) Oscar (my best friend)
4) Brian (my other best friend)
5) Chocolate
I wrote these things as the popped into my head and IMMEDIATELY felt horrible that it lacked family members. Then I blamed myself for not combining Elaine and Sienna into “family” and Oscar and Brian into “friends” thereby making room for other people/things. And chocolate? I don’t know why that even made the radar.
So I did my assignment, but my irrational guilt and second-guessing kind of tore it to shreds.
Isn’t depression a wonderful thing?
On the positive side it’s the first time I not only haven’t balked at an assignment, I actually ASKED for one. That’s how sick I am of feeling this way. Maybe now I can do the second part of the assignment which is to blog about this recent episode.
Jack
August 11, 2014 at 3:44pmEvery now and then I make these lists too. Helps me to put things in perspective, might not fix it all but it always makes me feel better.
Lorne Jaffe
August 12, 2014 at 8:44pmThx Jack
Aaron Yavelberg
August 11, 2014 at 3:47pmUnsolicited advice: remember the reason behind the assignment. Gratitude is gratitude and you took a big step in doing something you didn’t want to. A journey of a thousand miles, etc etc. Keep plugging along.
Lorne Jaffe
August 12, 2014 at 8:45pmThx Aaron. I don’t think I really understood the assignment until Cormac wrote about being thankful for different things on different days. I feel better about it now
Cormac McCann
August 11, 2014 at 5:30pmThe great thing about this task is you get to do it again tomorrow, and can be thankful for a whole different range of things.
For now think on why you are thankful for those things on today’s list. I’d have no problem separating my wife and kids on the list. Sometimes one or more of my kids wouldn’t make it onto the list!
Lorne Jaffe
August 12, 2014 at 8:46pmCormac,
You put the entire thing into perspective for me. I felt the 5 things I put down were etched in granite. Now I realize that I can be more fluid with it. Thank you for that
sherry amatenstein
August 11, 2014 at 9:16pmCongrats, Lorne – another milestone. You NEVER asked for an assignment before – and you completed it. Keep going
Lorne Jaffe
August 12, 2014 at 8:46pmThx Sherry