Elaine’s been in Vegas for nearing on two days now and all’s been well. Saturday evening, Sienna and I went to my parents’ house for dinner. They’d just returned from a cruise of Iceland and Norway and it was about midnight for them, but they were nice enough to have us over to help with my anxiety over feeling alone with Sienna. They also said that if they weren’t too jet-lagged, they’d be glad to watch Sienna the following day; they’d missed their granddaughter terribly.
Yesterday morning, my mom called and told me I could bring Sienna over whenever I wanted. I had an internal struggle with this. On one hand, I’d be giving myself that break I so desperately wanted and talked about not having in my last post. On the other irrational hand, I felt like a bad parent, dumping my kid off because I couldn’t handle her alone. It took a lot of power for me to push aside that ridiculous latter thought, but I did. I brought Sienna to my parents’ house and took myself to a rather eclectic double feature of The Conjuring and Monsters University. Meanwhile, my dad took Sienna to a nearby park, gave her lunch, and put her down for her nap. My mom then came home and the two of them played with her and then gave her dinner.
The double feature helped me feel rather free, and I’m happy to say I didn’t experience any guilt. That’s a rarity for me. When I got back to my parents’, I found a very happy Sienna and some eggplant parm awaitng me. Sienna ran up and hugged my legs. That made me feel great! After dinner, we went home, I gave Sienna a bath, her bedtime bottle, and put her down. The only problem I had was falling asleep myself. I’ve had to take melatonin the last two nights because absurd thoughts have been zooming and rebounding through my head. Unfortunately it makes me groggy the next day, but it has to be done; better that than no sleep.
One other problem. My dad’s coming down with a cold so I’m praying Sienna doesn’t get sick. I’ll even pray to Xenu if it’ll do the trick (sorry..I’m currently reading Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood and the Prison of Belief by Pulitzer Prize-winning writer, Lawrence Wright…man, if even one tenth of what Wright’s account of the rise of Scientology and his investigation of its behind-the-scenes goings-on is true then this is one of the scariest organizations in existence).
So…so far, so good. A big thanks to my parents and a big pat on the back to myself for not letting my anxiety mar my decision-making. Also, a big thanks to my sister-in-law for her very caring and supportive message 🙂
And Xenu? No colds, please!